so, i first started this blog about 18 months ago. i didn't really have time to work on it, but being unemployed for several months opens up all sorts of opportunities that i never really contemplated before. the whole unemployment status is a conversation for a different day, just laying a little groundwork about where we are now. i really need to work on this ...maybe a place to test some material if i ever decide to do standup! LMAO


anyway, i have seen and some really crazy things in the last couple of days. first of course being the lady who got out of the "old as hell" pathfinder in the parking lot in oxon hill - with the bumpers that were very neatly and nicely wrapped in what must be many boxes worth of aluminum foil.....it certainly was shiny!


last night, my mom and I went to dinner with friends at the olive garden in waldorf. some people call it walDORK - hmmm something about a shoe that fits? anyway, i understand all about policies and what not but, the waiter who asked my 85 year old mother for her ID when she ordered a glass of wine? it truly made my night.....i wondered if they thought that she either was using a fake ID or just what? we had a great laugh on this one.....good to see mom laugh that much!


heard a great joke yesterday - guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. the bartender pulls out a shotgun and fires off a round just barely missing the guy. guy says thank you and walks out. another guy in the bar asks the bartender what it was all about? a glass of water, a shot gun and thank you? bartender replies... he had hiccups.

it is snowing again. the weather man says it might be a dusting to a half inch. i would like to know the measuring instruments the weather guys are using these days.....i mean last winter, they predicted snowmageddon and snowpocalypse pretty well. this year, they are just full of shit....so i am hoping that the dustingtonite is really just that.....i am sick of winter and snow crap and looking forward to better weather. yes i have gotten old. the idea of staying home and playing the snow just don't cut it anymore.

my cute puppy nicky (17 year old lhasa apso) continues to amuse me by drinking all the water out of the bowl in his crate and then peeing into the empty dish. i think he has pretty good aim for an old man...

lindsay lohan is a dumbass. but then her father and mother are dumbasses or whatever the plural of dumbass is. according to TMZ (yes i watch that crap faithfully) this chick has a real bad habit of takin' stuff that ain't hers. and now, when she has been ordered into court to discuss this latest "infraction" she went out and got her hair done, i guess ya gotta look good for those mug shots! i give up

talk amongst yourselves...

carrot top

i really struggled with what to call my blog ~ and the notion of a swirlie kept swirling in my head, hmmm funny how these things work.

if you truly are unfamiliar with the concept of a swirlie, wikipedia offers a quite nice description. i have threatened swirlies on several people i know, generally after witnessing them an acts of blatant stupidity. nuff said

so i am flipping channels tonight and i come across criss angel mindfreak ~ where he has carrot top as a guest ~ my question is pretty simple and straightforward ~ exactly what in the hell attracts anybody to carrot top? he looks like he has been on steroids for years! i mean criss angel kinda blows my mind, he comes up with some of the most outrageous stuff i have ever seen, and even if it is all sleight of hand, optical illusion whatever ~ he is truly entertaining and somewhat of a creative genius.

what in the hell does anybody see in carrot top? except for the fact that he obviously rescued gene simmons in the desert in vegas ~ other than that i just don't get it ...

talk amongst yourselves ...